Phase I

I was born at a very young age to a loving family! We went to a traditional church but during adolescence I realized it wasn’t that meaningful to me.

Phase II

When I was 16 tragedy rocked my world when my beloved brother died of cancer.  And since we had prayed a lot for him to be healed, I became upset with God. Very upset
Very VERY upset.
VERY Very VERY upset.
In fact the night my brother died, I made a fist (might’ve even been the finger), held it up toward heaven & with burning anger & resolve told God “If this is how You are, I don’t want ANYTHING to do with You.”

Phase III

That began a 3 year period of rebellion & escape.
At first, mild in temperature then progressing to flaming craziness.

I would first find great joy & excitement in a new ‘add-on’ but then realize it wasn’t enough. So I went deeper into the dark. But when I graduated (or I should say - descended) to the next level, the same stark realization overwhelmed me.  

I didn’t know it at the time but as much as I was being fueled by rebellion against God I was also desperately & unknowingly medicating an unseen pain. Partly from my brother’s death & from other things that happened to me in my childhood….I looked good on the outside but on the inside (where no one could see, maybe not even me fully) I was deeply wounded.

Phase IV

Facing a gaping emptiness.  Long story short… By this time I was at college (one far away which only had an 18 year old drinking age vs. the 21 age in my home state).

Even though I had been a decent student all my life, my lifestyle had taken a heavy toll (as if I cared at the time).  But when I was put on academic probation it was a bit of a wake up call.  

Well, I had 2 very important mid-term exams coming up so I simply reasoned I’d just cut out the partying & extracurriculars for 2 weeks &  go to the library instead. I’d study & prepare hard for I was confident that I could upright the ship.

I was wrong & when I flunked the one & scored a D on the other I was shell shocked. It was the ‘icing on the cake’ which allowed me to see my need of rescue: I came to the end of myself. And thanks to God’s grace, the God who never stopped loving me…. I finally stopped running.

     Phase V

In my dorm room I said out loud to God (something like)  “If You are real...reveal Yourself to me. I need to be rescued”.

I began to read a Bible my Mom had given to me the previous Christmas, & the words “came alive”! 

Through what some people called being ‘born again’ or getting ‘saved’ (the terms don’t matter – it is reality of the transformation that counts), He took up my invitation & transformed me from the inside out. He replaced my shame with His acceptance, despair with hope, isolation with belonging. 

   As it says in the Gospel of John 5:24,
I crossed over from death to life!

I began a relationship with the Lord God (note that I didn’t say with a ‘religion’: for Rescue does not come from just a set of do’s & don’ts). 
A knowing occurs that cannot really be explained until you surrender (by faith) into His loving arms.

[For you Matrix fans, kind of like when Morpheos told Neo, he had to see the Matrix for himself …an explanation couldn’t do justice…]
take the Red Pill!

There’s an astounding verse in the New Testament that says:

“Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!”
2 Corinthians 5:17  (AMP version)            

                       I attest that this is true!

And that it is wonderful…..the Lord is wonderful!

Am I perfect now? Far from it

Do I ever stumble & fall in areas I shouldn’t dabble in? Unfortunately yes,

 but He helps me remember I’ve been down that road, I know where it goes & I don’t want to go there.  And as I choose to receive His abundant mercy He leads me back!                              Thank You  Lord!

For when I turn my heart back to Him (repent) & ask for forgivenessHe restores my soul!           He is a good good Shepherd!
I urge you…call upon the Lord.

                          He IS calling YOU!                                 Receive His gift of salvation … There is great hope for you!!!